If something is worth doing at all, it is worth doing with full engagement.

I want to be alive and conscious and engaged with the world as much and as often as I can be. Whatever I’m doing, I want to be doing it seriously, with my full attention and presence.

But I can definitely get into a mode that is much more myopic than that, which I’m following second-level dopamine impulses seeking stimulation, sometimes for hours at a time, even though that’s neither rewarding nor satisfying, only reinforced. Or alternatively, a mode of passively consuming material in a shallow way, low-effort way, that doesn’t result in new thoughts or in real learning.

So I try to make an explicit point not to do that.

With a combination of intentional practice and external systems, I aim to set up my life so that I’m spending a minimal amount of time reading or doing anything in a shallow way, and to push myself towards full engagement instead.

Part of this is active. The two practices that I’m most committed to, the things that I come back to focusing on when everything else falls apart is making sure to 1) exercise and 2) ship something, every single day. If I’m doing both of those, my physiology is fit and healthy and I’m doing something that has to be at least a little creative, which helps me to be alive to the world.

Part of that is just straight up avoiding, or setting careful limits around the kinds of dopamine loops that are reinforcing but not rewarding or productive.

When I notice the impulse to check one of those addiction-distractions, I treat it as a mindfulness practice. I notice the urge, and then let it go, explicitly enjoying my own sovereignty. Sometimes I’ll say out loud, “I get to choose, right now, to be the sort of person that isn’t addicted to shallow stimulation.”

Distraction as a flag

When I’m in the rhythm of it, this is actually pretty easy. Just like once you’re in the habit of eating well, eating junk food is pretty unappealing, once I’m in the habit of full engagement with material worth engaging with, the impulse to check the dopamine-addictive stuff fades.

So when I notice myself reaching for a distraction this is a flag for me. It usually means one of three things.

  1. I’m experiencing an aversion, anxiety, or agitation, and some part of me is trying to distract / pacify myself.
  2. I’m bouncing off of an ambiguity aversion.
  3. I’m cognitively tried or sleepy.

Aversion, Anxiety, Agitation

I’m actually not sure what the right thing to do is. Probably remember my feet, and do a few cycles of resonance frequency breathing. And then in short order make some time to do a full focusing session to draw out and dialog with whatever is bothering me, and get to a place where nothing is energetically stuck.

If I’m spending a lot of time on dopamine-loop distractions, it’s almost always because I have something emotional unhandled that I’m avoiding, and maybe don’t know how to deal with. (If I knew how to deal with it, I wouldn’t be as inclined to avoid it.)

Ambiguity aversion

In response to ambiguity aversion, I want to clarify the ambiguity.